Title: A Spring Morning
RP Thread Number: 61
When Occured: Between Sessions #24 and #25
Location: Luke’s Shack in the Warrens
Out of Game Date: Mar 17 – Mar 20th, 2019
Participants: Luke, Nestrim, Rabbit
Original Thread: http://silkandspices.net/forums/index.php?topic=51.0
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The late morning light is seeping into Luke’s new bedroom, Nestrim laid on his left side against Luke chest. He has been watching the sun slowly light up the room and illuminate the extra large bed he had arranged to be put in here during Luke’s absence. Three bodies shared the bed, Nestrim a slender tall elf on the right side, looking over the tall tiefling in the middle of the bed and towards the window over the side of the small elven girl on Luke’s left side.
His eyes scanned over the chest of Luke, taking in the slender tiefling’s form. Nestrim ran his fingers on his right hand lightly across the chest, feeling the muscle and the hair on the chest. He noticed a few more grey hairs had appeared in the more than half a year Luke had been gone. He took in a deep breath, smelling Luke and just enjoying the feel of the man beside him. He had missed him greatly, far greater then he would have thought more than five years ago when they first got together in the world’s weirdest game of gay chicken.
As he laid there he took Luke’s right hand in his and rubbed it gently when he noticed the cat tattoo on Luke’s inner right wrist. He paused for a moment trying to remember and confirming the memory that Luke didn’t have it when he left. Of course Rabbit convinced him to get tattoos…
Nestrim turned his attention to the drow on the other side, he appreciated her beauty and found her attractive, but he wouldn’t probably have ever considered her if he hadn’t met her through Luke. What did Luke see with her originally? There was too much death there, he was scared of her, not that he would admit it but she was everything his people were told about the drow and worse. Of course it turns out she wasn’t like that at all, but the spider was an image his people always felt some fear for.
He smiled as he noticed the tattoos were gone. She seemed different last night, but the wine and Luke’s attention had distracted him enough he hadn’t really noticed. He scanned her again, the blanket had fallen off of her and only covered part of her leg. He looked at her back, buttocks and the right side of her breast as she laid facing away. Completely bare, something he wasn’t used to seeing.
He turned back to Luke, and he rubbed Luke’s hand a little more, he knew Luke probably just wanted to sleep but he wanted him to be awake but couldn’t get around to making it obvious so he just touched him gently but insistently when he stopped and turned his gaze back on Rabbit… where was her spider marking? He didn’t recall seeing it last night and it wasn’t on her shoulder where it normally sat if it wasn’t doing that creepy drow movement thing. Was it hiding on her abdomen?
Nestrim leans over to Luke and gently pushes him and whispers in his ear, hoping to not wake the drow, “Hey you, I haven’t seen you in forever, wake up.”
“Some of us races sleep, you know,” Luke says. He pats at Nesterim feebly as he is only half awake.
His black eyes crack open. Although they have no pupils visible, as he squints at Nesterim. “Even Rabbit sleeps more often than not, get with the program,” Luke says with a smile.
A grin splits Nestrim’s face and he wraps a long arm around Luke and squeezes. “I missed you, I want as much time as I can sneak away from my duties with you. Also, Rabbit shouldn’t sleep so much, it is bad for her. You are setting a bad example.”
“By which you mean, not being elven, and having to sleep?” Luke says laughing.
“Why do you like me so much? I am a veritable mess in comparison to you?” Luke asks. He runs his fingers through Nesterim’s long elven hair. It was so find and thick, and soft compared to his own dreads.
Nestrim’s face softens as he looks at Luke. His eyes are mixed with love and a hint of arousal at the man laying next to him. “It is funny really, I used to joke about Rabbit’s fixation on you. I figured that was a sleigh ride to oblivion, but after our first year something had changed. I found I missed you when you weren’t there, even when you were being horrible. I missed smelling your presence in my bed, your complaints about me being awake.” his smile becomes larger at that comment.
“I couldn’t tell you why this happened, but I can tell you it did happen. You aren’t a mess, you are intelligent, you are caring… far more than myself although that isn’t very hard I guess. You are handsome, and the intensity you have is breathtaking. I find my selfish motives have mostly slipped away when it comes to you. I want you to be happy, whatever it takes on my behalf. I want to spend the next thousand years waking up and having you gripe at me for doing this.” He shrugs, “I just care about you is the short answer.”
“I could not figure out why you wanted to see me a second time. I thought you were going to have me executed, to be honest. I just couldn’t see someone like you being interested in a dirty street rat like me,” Luke says. “You are smart, educated, and beautiful. You also have power, even if you mostly wield it with a pen.”
“I’m sorry, I won’t be around as long as you like. I know my father found a way to continue on, but I’m not sure his path was without a price, if I can read between the lines, and I’m not interested in being a liche,” Luke says with a soft smile.
Nestrim’s smile fades a bit, his eyes drift over to Rabbit for a moment. “Everything comes at a price, the key is to find a cost you are willing to pay. I don’t want you to be a liche, I dare say your short stabby thing there doesn’t want you as a liche as well.”
He tugs on. Luke’s hair, then runs his fingers through it.“I can’t say much, but I do know things are in motion. I think I am going to get more time with you then I had originally worried about, but we need to find a way to add more than that, without making you a liche of course.” He smiles “As for our second date, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with you. I did consider that, but your presence was… different and I found I liked it. Also, to be perfectly honest I was visited by a ball of death and it was ‘explained’ to me the consequences of any harm befalling you… I am not scared off, but I figured with liking something about you, and a threat of a painful death it was worth a second date.”
Luke laughs, and says, “I had no idea Rabbit paid you a visit. We were just starting to see each other romantically then. To think, now you are both conspiring together without telling me.”
“Are you happier here in Kokand, not in line for the throne?” Luke asks.
Nestrim runs his hand down Luke’s chest playfully. As he circles Luke’s abdomen he responds, “Yes, one hundred percent yes. I would be happier to be around you and in a goat barn… no, not really that though. I am also just happy to be away from the elven court and to change the scenery. It is beautiful here, it has opened my eyes to non-elven influences and I feel like I can enjoy it. I don’t want to rule, I found I like doing what I do now. I like helping Keyleth, I like helping you. I am probably talking too much.” He gives look a smile.“Now my question, are you happy to be right here with me?”
Luke smiles, and pauses. He then seeks out Nesterim’s eyes, and says, “Yes. I have spent my entire life flitting from one lover to another. My complete inability to be monogamous was more than anyone could deal with. I tried to be ethical and warn the people I was with, but you can only warn so much. . .”
Luke pauses again before saying, “I love you. You are a terrifying beautiful elf from Arbolon and I have no idea what you see in me. I am afraid at any moment you will come to your senses and walk out that door and never come back. I have literally nothing to offer you. I am destitute by trade, and busy with life endangering quests for my goddess, and dumb enough to push my luck at every turn.”
He trails off waiting for Nesterim to speak.
Nestrim thinks about all of the different ways to explain how much he loved Luke and that he would never leave the tiefling on his own accord. None of the flowery words or big gestures seemed to fit, that is when he blurted out without fanfare or setup,“Marry me?”
Luke looks completely bewildered. He seeks out Nesterims eyes in disbelief, “marrying me would not be helpful for you or your family. I’m man near 100% devil, and a elven etiquette nightmare.”
‘I love you but I’m a short lived devil at that!” Luke says.
“I don’t want my presence to hurt you politically,” Luke says.
Nestrim’s eyes flare slightly but he is calm in his voice,“I love you, do you think I don’t know what race you are? Who you work for and what you do for a living? Do you think I would randomly ask some devil to marry me on a whim?”
His eyes slide back into the look of someone who loves Luke, “I am an adult, I am capable of making reasoned choices based on the information available. I have that information and I still want to marry you. That is the path I want. If you say no because you don’t want to marry me, because that is not what you want in your future, I will respect that. I will understand that. If you say no because of some misguided effort to save me from myself then I would you urge you to reconsider your choices.”
Nestrim’s eyes flicker over Luke and onto the other side of the room and then back to Luke, “As for short lived, that has already been extended by others so you won’t die too soon on me. We will fix you the rest of the way soon. So I am not worried about you aging out on me for now at least.”
With that Nestrim leans over and kisses Luke deeply for a moment before stopping sitting back and saying a lot more confidently, “Well, will you marry me?”
Yes. Yes I will marry you, but,” Luke’s mouth quirks into a smile, “You did sleep with a random devil on a whim. Are you sure your decision making isn’t motivated by whim?”
Luke’s smirk widens into amusement at his own wit.
Nestrim gently shoves Luke playfully and freezes for a moment, his gaze returns to Rabbit and he looks at Luke questioningly for a moment unsure how that situation should be handled. He then turns his attention fully back on the tiefling “Do you want a son of the King and Queen of Arborlon to marry you, or are we going to do it silently?”
‘You are not my dirty secret. The only person I want to talk to about it as Rabbit. I don’t want her to think I lover her any less. She might be worried with all that happened to her that this is my rejection of her, when it’s just about my love for you,” Luke explains. “You are not a secret. Not now, not ever.. if anyone should be a secret, I should be yours.”
Nestrim kisses Luke passionately again, “You will never be a secret, I am proud and happy to be with you. Not some dirty thing to keep locked in the cellar”
Nestrim looks over at Rabbit’s back, “I understand about Rabbit, and I would count on her having heard everything that we have said. Just let me know when you want to do this, preferably as soon as possible” He chuckles to himself.
Nestrim then scans Rabbit’s hips, arms and everything else he could see from this angle, “Where is her Spider at? Once you and her are talking I need to know where it disappears to. It has been eating at me all morning.”
“It’s gone. The Law god temple worked. Painfully with some of the worst screaming I have ever heard, but both Rabbit and your sister were completely disconnected from the contracts they were roped into,” Luke says.
“Rabbit is no longer a handmaiden. She’s the ranger she has always been. It will not heal the centuries of enslavement she suffered, but it means sh can now begin to heal,” he e plains.
“I was very clear to Alluvia about the pain and fear she’d have to go through, but she chose to go. She can now see, and Orcas has no hold on her. She’s divorced,” Luke says.
He then smiles and says, “I might have some complications though. While Rabbit was in the Machine, Lolths abyssal hand maiden showed up. We argued. I knew she had no power over the process because she tried to threaten and bargain me into letting her have Rabbit. Then she stabbed me on the leg a few times, and I balled her up like I do Rabbit and pet her head until she stopped. Then she proclaimed I was hers. I denied this, but my opinions are not apparently necessary.”
Luke smiles awkwardly at the new complication.
Nestrim hesitates for a moment thinking, something Luke said bothered him. Putting that thought away for a moment he follows up laughing at the thought of Luke holding a major demon like he does Rabbit, “In the end that means you are going to be fucking the handmaiden and she is going to want to move in, I don’t know what the hells your thing is attracting drow women. I bet you would attract drow men too if you came across them. It is like you give off a scent they can’t resist.” The laughing continues for a short time.
Nestrim stops and looks over at Rabbit, realizing his words might be taken wrong and not in the humor he said it in, “I think it is different with Rabbit of course.”
Nestrim turns his attention back to Luke and smiles at the thought of Alluvian, “So is my little sister back to her old self? That is fantastic. I miss her sometimes. Thank you my love, you have done more for me then you can imagine.”
Luke can tell though that Nestrim still seems bothered by something.
“Did I just introduce too many complications? I had to make a choice for Alluvia, the way it works is the operator of the room chooses the new life path. Like changing fates. I chose Rabbit to be the Ranger she has always tried to be here despite the Handmaiden’s call. Alluvia? There were several layers of servants and courtiers, but I chose queen. The dial shows possibilities, as far as I can discern. She is a queen, and I thought that would help her life path, to not be a servant to others. I hope I made the right choice. I wanted what would help her the most,” Luke says.
“Lolth’s handmaiden is straight up nuts. If she was a patient of mine, I’m not sure I could help. She is dangerously untreated, and violent. I’m not sure what to do about that, and the Izzy thing is not the same. Izzy wants what Rabbit has, and want’s to be in control of her relationship with me being the father of her child. For her that means making me some sort of second class consort because that’s all she knows. I also think she sees Rabbit as a second class citizen because Rabbit was her enslaved maiden, so seeing Rabbit have more pull on me is an issue for her. In her world, I should not be giving Rabbit that level of respect and want her more than Izzy,” Luke explains. “They loved each other, in a fashion, but is it really love when one party owns the other, and plies them with drugs to encourage more self destructive behavior? RAbbit’s love was probably genuine, but also tinged with desperation for contact and touch because her situation was so dire, and what Izzy had to offer was worth it. Now? Rabbit doesn’t need conditional caring.”
Nestrim smiles at his fiancée, he runs his hand through Luke’s thick braided hair and gathers his words, “If anyone could fix Lolth’s handmaiden it would be you. However, you are probably right. If you get the opportunity you should put her out of her misery. Besides she is a demon, that makes her opposed to you. Which is one of the reasons I never understood Rabbit’s fixation on you. She was bound to your mortal enemies. Demons are the mortal enemies of devils, not celestials.” He looks over at the back of the sleeping girl and then back to Luke.
He kisses Luke on the cheek, “You did nothing wrong, you did everything right. I guarantee that Alluvia is excited about her being healed. The fact she can see again will mean everything to her. Plus, she already thinks you walk on water my love, this will just cement it. If she learns you are marrying me that will make you her brother in law which to her and the rest of my family will just means brother and she will freak out even more.”
Nestrim looks back at Rabbit, a bit troubled on his face, “We should keep an eye on Izzy when she is around Rabbit, that may become violent. I suspect there was domestic abuse in their relationship to begin with, add in all the changes and you promoting ‘Rabbit’s Place’ in society might result in violence.”
Nestrim turns back to Luke, “One other thing I am not sure you are aware of, you said the spider mark disappeared. That isn’t a handmaiden mark, that is a drow racial marking…”
Luke smiles, and says, “I can’t ‘fix’ someone that is intent on murderous rage and violence, predicated on their opinion that they get what they want at the expense of everyone else.”
“Maybe, Alluvia and Rabbit are free of any godlike interference, be it Lolth or Corellon? The Elven god’s seem very interested in some nonconsensual control by birthright, and neither of them are attached to anything at the moment because they did not chose that path? Elves are quite unique in this theological interference, aren’t they?” Luke asks.
“Izzy is still not quite aware of all the things that have changed, and she is trying manipulations and violence to get what she wants. It just hasn’t occurred to her to be any other way. Rabbit can hold her own, and I do not condone that kind of violence. My concern is for my son more than anything, which is why I want Izzy living here. I don’t think she will like Skriv, because if I had to guess, his orders are from my father to protect the baby from Izzy as well,” Luke says with hardened eyes. “I have not mentioned this to Izzy, nor am I upset about that.”
Nestrim chuckles at Luke’s words about elves, “There were kids stories and legends about our origins, but nothing based in reality. I am grateful for your father’s help then. I am trying to figure out what kind of demon skriv is, he isn’t very intimidating looking but I have a feeling.”
Nestrim’s thinks for a moment and his face hardens, “Do you think Izzy has a chance with you? If not I could take care of the problem and keep your baby safe.”
Nestrim looks up as he is about to continue, where he stops talking and is just watching. He seems calm, but Luke can feel a slight tension in Nestrim’s posture, almost like he is debating bolting for the door as he notices that Rabbit has somehow turned around on the bed without him noticing and was watching him intently.
Rabbit laid there on her right side watching the two saying nothing. Her eyes almost whirling a bright blue in the shadows. Her eyes don’t betray any emotion as she watches Luke and Nestrim. Luke could almost swear that Rabbit’s eyes were bigger, and he didn’t remember the golden flecks floating in the eyes that were catching the reflection of the morning light.
“Yeah, Rabbit does do that,” Luke says with amusement.
“I am going to try to work out some sort of relationship with Izzy. Not the one she wants, though. I was actually very hesitant to sleep with her, believe it or not, and only did so because Rabbit was there. Izzy seems to think just because Rabbit is with me she is entitled to whatever Rabbit has. I don’t feel that way. I am not her lover, we had a good night, and it resulted in a son for both of us. She’s good in bed, but not in relationships,” Luke explains.
He reaches over and rubs Rabbit, and says, “How long have you been up? the whole time? You are not a maiden anymore, but you are still a terror in the dark.” He laughs.
Nestrim gives Rabbit a half of a smile, he does feel happy to see Rabbit, and while he didn’t touch her too much the night before, he did find he wouldn’t mind exploring her. The eyes though, they made him uncomfortable, he couldn’t remember if the eyes made him this uncomfortable before or not. In an almost panic he reaches forward with a finger and boops Rabbit’s nose like he has seen Luke do, her eyes unfocused in confusion for a moment and he felt immediately better and started chuckling, “What if she asks you to teach her? You seem to be the local expert on drow taming.”
Rabbit’s eyes finish unfocusing from the unexpected boop, she would have to remember that next time. Her eyes shift over to Luke and once again focus, this time full of love, desire, the world sat there on two legs for her, everything she could ever imagine was breathing and touching her. She loved the way he touched her, she would do anything for that touching.
Rabbit eyes just watch him, the gold flecks almost glowing as they seem to move around in her eyes on their own. She smiles at her heart and gives him a wink. “I think long enough my love to know you are going to want an awkward conversation with me.” She glances at Nestrim and smiles at him, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable Nestrim, I will strive to be better.”
“Teaching Izzy and being romantically involved in Izzy are not the same thing. Her regard for others is not very empathetic. I don’t like the way she treats Rabbit,” Luke says. “I harbor a hunch she’d treat you worse.” He explains to Nesterim.
Luke then turns to Rabbit, “Yes. Nesterim asked me to marry him. I said yes, but that does not mean I love you any less or am leaving you, if you will still have me.” He had always been up front with Rabbit. He saw no reason not to continue. If he was lucky she’d still love him.
Nestrim becomes very quiet and stops breathing for a moment. He watches Rabbit waiting for her response. His left hand slides down Luke’s arm and intertwines in Luke’s right hand. He really hoped Rabbit knew Luke still loved her, and this wouldn’t change anything in day to day.
Rabbit freezes momentarily. Her heart skips several beats and she could feel a tingle along her chest. Her vision darkens and for a moment she is worried she is passing out. Her thoughts shifted to Izzy having a baby, Nestrim is marrying him… she wondered momentarily if she had actually died and she was in hell. Luke’s proclamation of love brought back some of her feeling, the iciness around her chest retreats and is replaced not by anger or even jealousy. Just a knowing of where her place is. She was the first to be with Luke, but others would fill the major roles in his life and she would take her spot at the bottom.
The negative thoughts stayed like a shadow for a moment dancing around questioning herself on what was wrong that Luke worked around her, then it passed the thoughts receded and for the first time in her life without the screaming pitch of Despek Xwe in her mind.. She pushes away the thoughts and smiles at her love, trying to mask the ache she felt…
Rabbit smiled at him, her eyes full of clouded emotion “Of course my love, I will always be here for you and I will always want you. I am not leaving you. I will only leave if you demanded me to.” if nothing else she would protect him and his children. She was surprised to find she wasn’t angry at Luke or Nestrim. She found herself happy they were getting married. The smile Luke got when he looked at Nestrim made her happy. She didn’t understand why, but Luke’s happiness was all she wanted. She would keep them both safe.
Luke squeezes Nesterim’s hand with his, and says to Rabbit, “I was worried you’d think I loved you less. That my relationship with you was somehow dependent on status and my relationship with Nesterim. Then Izzy got pregnant, and by Sekhmet I wish it had been you, because she’s just mean and I worry about my son with her because she’s just so stupidly invested in making everyone else be lesser than her, and I have a son not a daughter. If it had been you, it would be a fairy tale family. With Izzy? She uses it to try and make you feel small, and that is not the case. Just because we had a birth control failure, doesn’t mean I have to have a romantic relationship with her, but I’m scared if I am so blunt she will run away with my child.”
Luke reaches out to Rabbit, and grabs her hand with is off hand, “I love you with all my heart. What I feel for Nesterim does not change that. I am blessed that two people are even willing to put up with me. Marrying Nesterim will never take that away from you. He is just as cursed to be with a man that loves you completely. I’ve never been able to be with only one person, because I fall in love. That’s my issue. most people do not want more than a physical relationship with me because of that. You honor me by putting up with my inability to be with just one person.”
Nestrim remains quiet hoping not to disturb the situation. He squeezes Luke’s hand in support.
Rabbit hesitates a moment, some sadness glittering across her features. She wished Izz was different, she would happily share Luke with her. Luke didn’t feel safe though, and that meant she might have to take care of this for him “I won’t let her harm your child. I will protect them.”.
She turned to face Luke fully, blood in her ears making her almost deaf, she pushed through her anxiety anyways and with a small voice begins to speak, “Do you think if I became good enough that you might consider marrying me? If you don’t, you will still keep me around right?” She knew that sounded weak when she said it and she cursed herself silently. Without Despek in her head she wasnt sure what to do or say. At least when she was fighting with her menatally she wasn’t alone.
Luke squeezes Nesterim’s hand back.
He looks incredulous at Rabbit, “What? What the hell? You know I never wanted a child with Izzy? Right? I wanted a child with you. I will not be having more children with Izzy. That was an accident. I’d hope you’d protect my children, because the vast majority will probably be with you. I would have said all of them but then Izzy happened because of the Fey.”
Then he looks disturbed, “I had no idea you wanted marriage. It’s not something I have considered before because I did not think anyone wanted to tie their fates to mine. Nesterim is worried I will die out there, and impulsively asked me. I said yes. We are happy, but there was no weighing out who was good or bad. In the same way, I didn’t know you wanted more? I would marry you, if you ever asked and wanted that, but it has nothing to do with good or bad, just wether you wanted that from me.”
“I worry for you because you think so little of yourself,” Luke says quietly. “You are the only one that doesn’t see your own worth.”
Rabbit’s eyes are huge, she sits up and the blanket falls off her revealing an incredibly pale alabaster skin color. No marks on her body, no scars, nothing. She still maintained her feminine drow appearance with her breasts still larger then normal for surface elves, and a curve to her hips that surface elves didn’t have, but it was different somehow then Luke remembered as were her movements. She sits in place watching Luke, “The first night we were together, you told me you didn’t think you were the marrying type. I think you were trying to warn me off if I was looking for a serious relationship.”. She smiles at him, “I suspect it was your way of making it clear that it wasn’t going to work out, which I didn’t believe for a second.”
She leans forward, drawing her left hand out and cups Luke’s chin. Her intensity at a high pitch as she leans over and kisses him softly on the lips, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have your children. I want to adventure down in dark places in the earth and in great peaks in the sky with you. I just want you.”
She knew if she stopped now she would hide away and not ask, her outer appearance belying her anxiety and worry on the inside, the worry is evident to Luke in her eyes as it fluctuates. “Is it bad to ask you to marry me right after Nestrim asked? I don’t want to take away from you and him. I have found I am comfortable so far with him being here with you.”
Luke smiles at Rabbit, “I don’t have a path to follow to be with two people that I love. That fact that you two are starting to be friends makes me happy. I would happily marry you Rabbit. I didn’t know that was something you wanted. I didn’t know if Drow do that the same way as up here.”
Luke looks to Nesterim, “Do Elves marry more than one spouse? Is that a thing? I don’t know what the right protocols here are?”
Nestrim smirks at Luke and shakes his head“There are definitely kingdoms and tribes that have multiple spouses. That isn’t too unusual. Some in Arborlon might poo-poo it but it will mean nothing. Others will be excited about change. No, the groundbreaking thing here is I am marrying a Tiefling who will be part of the royal family, and he will be married to a drow. Many will consider me and Rabbit married as well. Don’t worry about the protocols, do this how you want to do, I just want you.” He gives Luke a smirk, “Besides, I tested the waters with mother and father. They were caught off guard at first, but both agreed they would welcome you into the family. Everything you have already done, you are closer then my blood relations other than parents and Alluvia.”
Rabbit’s cocks her head listening to Nestrim talk, she then focuses back on Luke, her head swaying slightly back and forth. “Then please marry me.” She glances at Nestrim and then back to Luke, “It is pretty unprecedented for someone in a royal house to marry a surface person, let alone a tiefling and their infernal blood. If I wasn’t already being hunted down by my people, they might do it now. The fact you are also married to an elf will be a shock.” A grin spreads across her face at the thought of shocking her mother.
Luke smiles, and says, “Then let’s do what we want. I want to marry both of you. I love you both. I have separate relationships with each of you. I love you both so completely. Let’s do it.”
Luke smiles broadly. “Fuck protocol, as long as it doesn’t hurt either of you.”
Nestrim kisses Luke passionately“What would you like my love? You want knights, princes and an audience. A quiet ceremony at a temple, or just somewhere away from everyone giving each other vows?” He continues kissing for a short while and then pulls back, he knows how to share attention.
“Do you think this bed going to be big enough for three people? Will you be happy here with us?”
Rabbit’s is watching Luke and Nestrim. She doesn’t feel upset they are kissing, they both are attractive and it is arousing to watch. She just doesn’t know what to do. She is unaccustomed to not knowing immediately what to do and this bothered her. She wasn’t sure if she should defer to Nestrim, after a few moments she knows she should. He is a noble, and Luke favors him. So she sits waiting patiently. Small tremors starting at her hands.
She didn’t understand why she was shaking though, her hands, chest, legs all shaking. She knew that isn’t normal. She tried not to look at herself, not draw attention so she sat there watching quietly. She just took slow steady breaths to keep the shaking down and prevent herself from passing out. Last thing she needed was a panic attack in Luke’s bed. Maybe she should slide out of bed and excuse herself for awhile.
The whole time her eyes were huge, blue with golden flecks free floating in them.
Luke laughs, “I think a full court wedding would be scary and overwhelming. I have no idea how to work this with your familial ties and obligations, and am willing to do whatever will make that work for you, though.”
He looks around the room, “We might have to rearrange a bit. I want us all to have our own separate spaces, but it would be nice to have one central ‘family’ area.”
Luke then looks at Rabbit, and reaches out to hold her, “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Is this overwhelming you? Are you upset that Nesterim asked first?” Luke pulls Rabbit to his chest, and holds her. “I love you. I’m so sorry if I was insensitive!”
Nestrim’s face softens when he sees Rabbit shaking and Luke pull her to him. He sits back slightly so not to take too much space. He watches for a few minutes and hesitantly reaches out and strokes Rabbit’s hair and murmuring reassuring words in elven.
Rabbit watches Luke and Nestrim, the shaking almost stopping until Luke gave her his full attention. Her eyes grew in confusion as he reached up to her tears started running down her face and she couldn’t do anything about it.
Her mouth wouldn’t work as he laid her on his chest and all she could do was lay there listening to his heart, sobbing quietly into him. She didn’t know why she was crying and she was terrified because it wouldn’t stop, and if it didn’t stop she would drown.
The only thing she could do when he apologized was to shake her head trying to show him she wasn’t mad at him.
Luke says to Rabbit, “I am sorry. I sometimes forget your past was difficult and did not have these kinds of relationships. That’s not fair of me. I doubt anything you have dealt with could have prepared you not just for the difficulty of trying to marry a Tiefling, but one that comes with extra partners.”
He hugs her tight and says, “people with a lot more experience than you have told me to piss off and left. If this is too much please tell me. I love you and time is something we all have a bit of. We can slow down. I’m so sorry. This is probably so much for you after you just got free from the Handmaiden and are feeling all your own emotions for once. That’s my fault for not being more considerate.”
Nestrim moves closer to the two of them, wrapping his left arm behind Luke’s back and his right arm over top of Luke and Rabbit he just curls them up together and holds them both. Saying nothing except reassurances to both, but especially to Rabbit.
Panic seized at Rabbit at the thought Luke might slow down. He didn’t understand it wasn’t that he was going Too fast, it was the fear he would slow down and realize his error and that he didn’t want to be with her. She was good at making quick decisions, she wasn’t good at planning or long term and it terrified her even more if he delayed things. It would eat at her.
She wished she could melt into Luke and just be part of him. She knew that wouldn’t happen and even if it could she would hurt him more than help.
She shifts her head to look up at Luke, her words are hoarse and desperate. “Please don’t stop or slow down. You aren’t going too fast. I want you. I want everything now. My mind is terrified you will slow down and then grow tired and leave. I am alone in my head for the first time in centuries and I am scared and lonely. I hated her but she was always there and someone that was intimate with me even if we fought. Now I am alone in my head and only bad things stay inside my head.it means I am more worried then normal is all.
Luke leans back and looks at Rabbit in the eyes and says, “Look, I am not going to one day wake up, and decide I don’t like you. I will talk to you about my feelings. I love you, and you aren’t tricking me. I know you. Hell, I know some of your memories from that ritual, so I really know you. You are just going to have to trust that I don’t think of you as an afterthought, okay? I think this has all been a bit much when you are still trying to sort yourself out after being literally enslaved for centuries. I was selfish, and I did move too fast.”
“I understand you want to marry me. Is part of it because you are afraid you will loose me? I’ve married a lot of people for my clerical duties. Some work, some don’t. At the end of the day people should marry because it makes them happy. It won’t change what’s underneath though. Underneath everything I love you. Married or not,” Luke explains. “I’m not as good as living my own advice, but I hear I give pretty good advice to others when I am being a cleric.”
Nestrim tries to sink into the bed, still touching and reassuring those involved, but not wanting to interfere.
Rabbit listens to Luke’s words and her demeanor calms down, eventually her shaking stops.
Adjusting herself she sits up and straddles Luke, leaning over him trying to get his whole attention. She spends a few moments trying to gather her thoughts. She lovingly touches Luke’s face with her left hand while taking a breath. Her body brushing his chest as she concentrates on what she is going to say.
“Stop”, the words are hard for her to say. It tears at her heart to say this directly to Luke. She is terrified he is going to leave, but he isn’t listening to what she is trying to say. “Please stop for a moment.”
She takes a deep breath, “I appreciate you wanting to make sure you don’t go to fast for me. You are the first person to not try and control my every action in my life… except you are doing it in a different way. You are incredibly talented as a cleric, you are smart and give great advice, but you aren’t in my head.”
She leans forward, pressing her left index finger against Luke’s lips gently as she kisses him, to stop his words for a moment.
“I am terrified you are going to leave me, I am afraid I am going to fail. None of that ties in with my desire to marry you. I am not asking you to marry me because of desperation. The only reason I didn’t ask you to marry me four years ago, one year after we started dating, was because you mentioned you weren’t a marrying type. So like an idiot I didn’t press and I should have.”
She leans back, “Please trust I want to marry you because I want to spend my life with you. Believe me when I tell you that you did not move too fast, that I want to marry you not because I am going to lose you, but because I just want to be married to you.I want to have a baby with you right now because you are the person for me in this world. I know I get worried, but please don’t slow anything down if I ask you not to. Please respect that I am aware I am crazy, but I do believe I know myself well enough to make this choice. All I need to know is if you will marry me now.”
She looks around a little aware of their surroundings, “Or we can wait until we get out of bed and figure out how to work it around Nestrim and you.” She gives Luke a sheepish smile realizing she was ranting.
Luke smiles, “We are all crazy, just in our own ways. I just hide mine well because I’ve had years of practice. I will be happy to marry you. I hadn’t realized you wanted that, or I’d have asked. I’m really bad at relationships sometimes, so you’ll have to deal with that. So let’s get married. We can bicker about the particulars later, but I love you and I want to be with you.”
He looks at Nesterim being so patient, “I love you too. I’m not really sure how this happened for me. I am grateful you love me.”
Nestrim smiles and leans in kissing Luke’s neck, growling lowly. Now that things had seem to break and Rabbit seemed more normal he realized he had an absolutely handsome tiefling on top of him and so he decided to use his position to start chewing on his neck.
Rabbit cocks her head, watching Nestrim and Luke. “I love you so much. You are not bad at relationships, you somehow managed to capture a drow handmaiden and an elven noble and kept us both for years now. Now all that is left is to figure out how we are going to work it between Nestrim and I. After all, your picture shows we must get pretty intimately regularly at some point.” She pushes down and wiggles herself on Luke. She does lean forward and start chewing on the other side of the neck.
Luke smiles and reaches a hand to each to return the effection shown him. This was an easier problem to solve and a lot of fun could be had if they were both friendly on this issue.